where people stop being polite and start getting real: February 2009

Friday, February 20, 2009

a friendly chicago psa

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-serial-rapist-19-feb19,0,7156225.story

attn: all chicagoans. keep your eyes open for a douche bag walking around raping girls in the am. he has been described as a short black guy with a goatee. this loser has been attacking women in the logan square and bucktown areas, the last one happening off of the western blue line stop. be safe!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

FML

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

Today, my friends and I decided that we were going to make fun of our teacher by laughing as hard as we could at the first thing he said because he was always cracking horrible jokes. He walked in and told us his father had just passed. I was the only one to laugh. FML

I can not stop reading http://www.fmylife.com/

Monday, February 16, 2009

Night Owl #4

Have you had a second to check out the 4th issue of my friend Charlie's zine the Night Owl yet? If not, today is your lucky day because I have uploaded it for you all! Inside you'll find Thought Crusade interviews, a recipe for the Night Owl Burger, 86 Mentality reviews, and more.

click here to download full size jpgs

Keep your eyes open for #5 coming soon.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

LAZY SUNDAY MIX

http://www.mediafire.com/?zitrnzm2zid

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dr. Franks-N-Fritters

It has come to my attention that everywhere i live one of the first things that I find are some delicious hot dogs. Jacksonville? Sign me up for a late night hot dog outside of The Pearl. Los Angeles? Head down to Santee Alley and get a questionable road side dog wrapped in bacon. Now that I live in the hot dog capitol of the United States, I salivate pretty much every time I turn a street corner. I've made my rounds around a few different places and I thought that I'd document my encased meat travels.

Today my roommate and I woke up and we knew it was Hot Dougs day. We got there and something glorious happened... there was maybe 10 people in line. Hot Doug told us that they have tater tots so of course I had to jump on that (and everything's better with cheese). My encased meat of the day was the Saucisson Alsacienne, a bacon sausage with creme fraiche, caramelized onions and crascenza cheese. The stuff that looks like Diego fapped everywhere is the creme fraiche. I think it is technically considered a cheese but it feels like sour cream and to be honest, the texture weirded me out. The sausage was a little dry, so I suppose it was there to work off of that. Over all, I'd give it a B+. It'd get an A if there was more care placing the creme fraiche on it so that it didn't overpower the flavors.

Stay tuned for more delicious encased meat food porn pictures and my silly thoughts on them.

You know you're a Chicagoan when...

All you talk about is the weather.

Chicago has been experiencing some serious spring-like weather this week. And it's all anyone wants to talk about. Nearly every conversation begins with "it's such a nice day out!" and awkward pauses in conversation have been replaced with "so... how about this weather we've been having?" Chicagoans also like to speculate what the weather will be like tomorrow, and the weeks after that. It seems that the general consensus is that the current temperatures, which are ranging from the 50's to 60's, are here to stay. But I know better than that. Let's not forget what the first day of spring looked like last year: